The teen years can be some of the most painful and confusing for parents. Previously amicable, kind and happy children can quickly turn into sullen, angry teenagers overnight - and parents are left wondering where things went wrong. Frustration quickly builds, and parents who truly want to have loving, friendly relationships with their teenager simply cannot find the words or actions to reach them. By the time this kind of family decides to go to counseling, things are usually at a breaking point. Parents are hurt and confused, and the teen sees his parents as the enemy. Each side is afraid and this fear often leads to threats - parents threaten to kick the teen out, and the teen threatens to run away from home.
While it can be very painful to deal with this kind of situation, it may help to realize that this intensity is actually a positive sign. If you and your teenager still care enough to fight, it shows that you still care what the other thinks. That means that there is room and potential for communication and reconciliation. Obviously, however, there are actions that will help you reach your teens, and actions that will be counterproductive. If you can realize that the anger, frustration and angst in your teen aren't all about you, you can begin to mend things between you. Here are a few tips we have found particularly effective in mending broken relationships with angry teens.
Never Quit Trying - You should never quit trying to work things out, this is the worst thing any parent can do. The parents and kids that make it through this difficult time are the ones that do not quit on each other. As angry, confused and hurt as you could be, do not just throw up your hands and quit. Keep on showing your love, as well as your concern to your teen to help him find his way.
Don't Be so Grim-Remember that having a sense of humor can often salvage an otherwise tense situation. Sure, sometimes your kids' actions are serious, but if you can step back and see the larger picture, you'll often realize how humorous - and normal - the whole thing really is.
Nothing Personal - Your teen's anger and emotions during this time may be over the top compared to what is actually going on in his life. If you have done nothing but love, and provide for your child up until now, his sudden anger may feel like a personal assault. However, his anger most likely is not about you. If you know for sure that you have done something to anger him, apologize to him, but otherwise do not take his anger personally and be patient with him.
Be Understanding of the Teenager's Fears - Growing up can be quite scary for teens and this fear many times shows up as outbursts of anger. If the parent can just acknowledge and understand the teenager's vulnerability and fears, it will be easier to deal with the teen's emotions during puberty. Instead of the parents acting like they know everything, they need to let the teen talk about what he is afraid of, so they can help him deal with his fears.
Do Watch for Depression-Just remember that adolescent depression is a real thing - and angry outbursts or sullen behavior may be symptoms of something a little deeper. If you've tried working with your teen and he still seems unreasonable, professional counseling and screening may be in order.
While it can be very painful to deal with this kind of situation, it may help to realize that this intensity is actually a positive sign. If you and your teenager still care enough to fight, it shows that you still care what the other thinks. That means that there is room and potential for communication and reconciliation. Obviously, however, there are actions that will help you reach your teens, and actions that will be counterproductive. If you can realize that the anger, frustration and angst in your teen aren't all about you, you can begin to mend things between you. Here are a few tips we have found particularly effective in mending broken relationships with angry teens.
Never Quit Trying - You should never quit trying to work things out, this is the worst thing any parent can do. The parents and kids that make it through this difficult time are the ones that do not quit on each other. As angry, confused and hurt as you could be, do not just throw up your hands and quit. Keep on showing your love, as well as your concern to your teen to help him find his way.
Don't Be so Grim-Remember that having a sense of humor can often salvage an otherwise tense situation. Sure, sometimes your kids' actions are serious, but if you can step back and see the larger picture, you'll often realize how humorous - and normal - the whole thing really is.
Nothing Personal - Your teen's anger and emotions during this time may be over the top compared to what is actually going on in his life. If you have done nothing but love, and provide for your child up until now, his sudden anger may feel like a personal assault. However, his anger most likely is not about you. If you know for sure that you have done something to anger him, apologize to him, but otherwise do not take his anger personally and be patient with him.
Be Understanding of the Teenager's Fears - Growing up can be quite scary for teens and this fear many times shows up as outbursts of anger. If the parent can just acknowledge and understand the teenager's vulnerability and fears, it will be easier to deal with the teen's emotions during puberty. Instead of the parents acting like they know everything, they need to let the teen talk about what he is afraid of, so they can help him deal with his fears.
Do Watch for Depression-Just remember that adolescent depression is a real thing - and angry outbursts or sullen behavior may be symptoms of something a little deeper. If you've tried working with your teen and he still seems unreasonable, professional counseling and screening may be in order.
About the Author:
Visit thepinnacleprograms.com for reviews and information on angry teens and troubled teen treatment. This blog is dedicated to helping parents find better information on helping their troubled teen.
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